If you have too much to do, make a To Do list.

If you don’t make such list, you may rush around like a maniac trying to get everything done in one day. You may become irritated, angry, and even violent with your loved ones. In this way, making a To Do list can save lives.

Another of my favorite lists (besides the To Do Tomorrow list) is the Never Do list. This is a very long list in my case. There are lots of things in life I would rather never do. In this category I put moving bookcases in order to clean behind them, clearing old papers out of filing drawers, straightening up inside kitchen cabinets, and many other tasks of this type, generally involving heavy pieces of furniture or ladders.

There is my Hardly Ever Do list. These are things I can usually talk my husband into doing for me. In some cases, he actually likes doing these things, which is, of course, the ideal situation. In practical reality, however, these are things I hope he feels duty-bound to do. If I get an oily spot on my clothes, for example, I hope my husband will rush to remove it with spot remover. When tax time rolls around, however, I do our paperwork. Spot removal is on my Hardly Ever Do list. Taxes are on my husband’s Never Do list.

A note about To Do lists: They contain only things people never want to do. Interesting things don’t need listing, because they aren’t likely to slip our minds.

I have a I Cannot Understand How To list. For example, “I cannot fix the dripping faucet, because I don’t understand anything about plumbing.” In all these instances, I could probably find the missing information at the public library or on the Internet. Maybe that list should be called: Things I Never Wanted to Understand.

Here’s another important list: Things You Don’t Understand. The longer we know or live with someone, the longer this list grows.

For example, my husband this morning used the command form of speech and ordered me to “Get dressed” three hours before we were due to go out. Like most people who are not on active duty in the armed forces, I prefer being reminded to do things in a nice way, like this: “Do you think you’ll be ready on time?” or “Do you remember that we’re going to the movies tonight?”

Of course, my husband, who already has me on his own Things You Don’t Understand About Me list, would be correct in his use of language should there be an actual outbreak of war. Can you imagine a four-star general addressing his troops this way: “Would you men over there please take your showers, so we won’t be late to the hostilities?”

So, in conclusion, what can I say? Lists are good. And remember: When you finish something, cross it off your list. Believe me, you’ll feel organized.

Some questions for discussion:

1. Do you use a shopping list when you go to the grocery store?

2. Do you live with family members? Do you live with roommates? Do you live with your husband or wife? Do you live with children? What method do you use to divide up the household chores?

3. We used to say: “If you want to remember something, tie a string around your finger,” but I have never seen anyone do this. These days we use Post-Its and stick them to the kitchen table. How do you remind yourself to do things? Do you use an appointment book or a calendar? Do you put reminders on your computer?

Fancy Note Paper © Carol Wilson Fine Arts, Inc.

Photo and Text Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

I arrived in Manhattan at the age of 20 seeking work, only to find that my college degree did not qualify me for any job. I took jobs unrelated to my education in order to have enough money to pay the rent on a tiny apartment. I was one of millions of young people in big cities all over the world, living in small rooms or tiny apartments, earning my own living. The years went by. I didn’t want to complain, but I wasn’t happy.

People don’t come to New York to have fun. They come to work. Nevertheless, 50 percent of the people who come here from foreign countries turn around and go back home again. For various reasons, it’s difficult to find happiness here.

I woke up this morning determined to find happiness, so I set out looking for it. Walking in the Hudson River Park, I came to Trapeze School New York (TSNY). A young woman swung back and forth on a high trapeze, dropped into the safety net, flipped down to the ground, flung both her arms up into the air, then ran to her trainer, kissed him, and gave him a big hug! What a show! Amazing! I wondered if they were a couple!

Outside, a small group of young women arrived for a lesson. When they saw two of their friends, they yelled, “Hello trapezists!” flinging their arms around each other in big hugs. Weren’t they living the good life? I didn’t know if they were happy, but they were certainly young and in high spirits. It seems to me that you can’t tell whether or not people are really happy by how they look.

Other people seemed determined to be unhappy. I saw a slim, blond mother out walking with her two daughters, who looked exactly like her. The daughters had pulled their hair back in ponytails. The mother had hers in a bun at the back of her head. The older daughter turned and attacked her mother: “Don’t you know where you’re going?” she said peevishly. What were these blond females arguing about on such a beautiful day? They looked so well-established and prosperous, but inside they were miserable. What a shame.

On my way I had to pass through a deserted block which had been taken over by homeless people. A man slept on the sidewalk wrapped from head to foot in a blanket. His belongings were piled in a shopping cart. Another man wearing a baseball cap stared out at me from the shadows. No one spoke. I just walked by. These people were not happy and living the good life, either. Would more money solve their problems?

I asked myself this question because many people think that if they won the lottery, they would instantly be happy and all their problems would be solved. But according to stories about millionaires we can all read in the newspapers, their money does not bring them happiness. More money only seems to bring a more complicated life and more bills to pay.

I gave up thinking about the mystery of happiness. It was great being outdoors in the park. Men, women, children, and lots of dogs were enjoying themselves in the salt sea air and sunshine. People were stretching their muscles, jogging, sailing, kayaking, fishing off the piers, talking, and taking their kids out of the house to play on scooters.

As I walked, a man looked at me and smiled. I couldn’t believe it! In this city of anonymity and alienation, where millions of people walk on the sidewalks and ride the subways every day without raising their eyes to see  each other, someone had actually smiled!

It was an odd feeling. I felt myself glowing. I had a smile on my face, too!

This startling experience happened to me again the next day, too, and the next, and the next.

I still live in the same place. I still work at the same job. I still know the same people. The only thing that’s changed is this: Every morning when I wake up, I decide to be glad, not sad, about my life.

Soon after waking up, I say to myself: ‘I intend to be a happy person today. And if anything arises that causes me to be unhappy, I’ll turn that over to Heaven to be undone.’

It’s that funny? I never knew that “happy” is something we  DECIDE  to be.

Suggested Questions for Discussion:

1. When I say “the good life,” what images arise in your mind? A beautiful beach on a sunny day? More leisure time? More friends? Having a date with an attractive woman or man? A new car? A new house?

2. In your opinion, does everybody want to be happy? Or do some people choose to be miserable instead?

3. In the Declaration of Independence of the USA, Americans are said to have the right to pursue happiness. Do you think that happiness is something we can pursue? Think back to a time in your life when you were happy. At that time, were you pursuing happiness?

4. Feeling happy may be a two-step process, like making a wish and then letting it go. Do you ever make wishes about what you believe would make you feel happier?

The perspective expressed in this story is based on A Course in Miracles and the books, CDs, and DVDs of Wayne W. Dyer, Ph.D.

Photographs and Text Copyright © 2008 Revised 2011. Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

My conversation partner had been a professional woman in her own country. She was self-confident. Her English was very good. Last week she told me she was planning to go to Philadelphia.

“My husband and I hope to see the Liberty Clock when we go to Philadelphia,” she said.

“There’s no such thing as the Liberty Clock,” I said. “In Philadelphia, the big attraction is the Liberty Bell. It has a big crack in it.”

Yesterday was one week later, and my student was back from her trip to Philadelphia.

“Tell me all about your trip,” I said.

“We saw the Liberty Bell,” she said enthusiastically. Then she added, “There was also that clock.”

“What clock?” I asked.

“That big clock I was telling you about last week,” she answered confidently.

I felt irritated that she was bringing up this “Liberty Clock” again. The United States doesn’t have any such clock in its history. She seemed to be saying that she knew more than I knew about the history of my own country.

“Of course you saw a big clock,” I said patiently. “All American cities have big clocks.”

But my student had spoken with such absolute self-assurance that I began to doubt myself and think she might be right. So, when I got home, I asked my husband, “Did you ever hear of a Liberty Clock in Philadelphia?”

“There’s no such thing as the Liberty Clock,” asserted my husband vigorously.

But then he added: “That clock has a big crack in it.”

“What clock are you talking about?” I shouted.

He looked at me with a perplexed look on his face. “I didn’t mean to say clock,” he answered quickly. “I meant to say bell.”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” I replied.

Suggested Discussion Questions:

1. Do you know people who speak first and think later?
2. Do you know people who think that they know everything and that you know nothing?
3. Have you ever taken an official tour in an unfamiliar city? Did you enjoy the guided tour?

Photo and Text Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

There is no such thing as American culture. What people see in Hollywood movies is not the real America.

Religious and family traditions are the two pillars of culture. Most American families are officially Christian, but many young people do not go to church on Sunday anymore. And everybody knows that family ties are weakening and falling apart all over the world, not just in the United States.

In everyday life, American culture means keeping up appearances—trying to fit in. Think about it. This is a country of immigrants. The mother may have been born in South Korea, where her grandparents were Buddhist. The husband may have been born in Brooklyn, New York, of Jewish heritage, maybe from Europe. How does such a couple raise their children? What holidays do they celebrate? How do they dress? When they go to the grocery store to buy food, what food do they buy? What meals do they cook? Do they continue to practice any religion?

I hope you can see how these complex questions must be discussed and worked out within each and every couple. Excellent communication skills are needed in all these melting pot situations. Building bridges between dissimilar belief systems is difficult if not impossible, so you can see why families often fall apart in America.

Many marriages in the United States end in divorce. In fact, the trend is for young people never to get married in the first place. They simply want to live together with no permanent ties.

“The United States has the weakest families in the Western world because we have the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting,” says David Popenoe, a sociology professor and co-author of the report entitled The State of Our Unions 2005. This report analyzes Census and other data and is issued annually by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey’s Rutgers University.

What about the American Dream, the idea that I can buy my own house, that hard work will result in a good life? I have seen many instances of the American Dream coming true.

Many factors must come together, however, in order for people to realize the American Dream: communication among family members, ability to hold long-term goals in common, ability to work together, willingness to pursue higher education, willingness on the part of adults to commit their lives to working for the benefit of their children, and last, but not least, good luck. Striving like this is generally only seen in recent immigrants. While America still believes in the work ethic (the idea that hard work will be rewarded), this belief is not held as strongly by third or fourth generation Americans as it is by recent immigrants and their children.

Given that there is no distinctly American culture, are there a few traits that characterize Americans in general? Yes, I think there are a few.

First, this is a country of winners and losers. We think there can only be one winner, or only a few winners, and every individual wishes to be a winner. Being the best is important to us. Nothing makes us happier than winning the top prize, walking off with the most desirable guy or gal, being recognized for our special gifts, being seen as top dog, and so forth. Being just an average person in a group of other average people does not appeal to us at all. The concept of a win-win solution to a conflict perplexes most Americans. The downside of this way of seeing things is that if I am not the winner, then, logically, I must see myself as a loser. And people who see themselves as losers, as outcasts, suffer greatly in America.

Secondly, we start fresh after failures and losses. We pick ourselves up and try again. We re-invent ourselves, often many times in one lifetime. To use an analogy from the game of boxing, an American is rarely “down for the count.” Even men who have served time in jail frequently rehabilitate themselves, get jobs, and become productive members of society. Many of us cannot be prevented from trying to achieve something worthwhile with our lives. The typical American has three careers.

Thirdly, we frequently volunteer our time and money. We are big givers to worthy causes. Americans can be found helping out at hospitals, community centers, senior centers, sending money to rescue efforts around the world, and so forth. We have one million not-for-profit corporations in this country, dedicated to all kinds of good work. For example, the best shows on television for children are produced by not-for-profit corporations.

Fourthly, we value freedom, liberty, and democracy. Even though these words cannot be defined, we value them. No American is ever going to say he values oppression and tyranny.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident,” says our Declaration of Independence, written in 1776, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” These are ideals, of course, that continue to be violated in reality. Someone once noted, for example, that our Founding Fathers were a “group of slave owners who wanted to be free.”

What a ferment of contradictions. Even though we do not have a pure democracy in the USA, most of us believe that democracy, the principle of one man, one vote, is a better way of running things than the various alternatives. And I still believe that God, Who created us, wants us to be free and happy. I grew up valuing these ideals and they are in my very bones.

Suggested Topics for Discussion:

1. If I say the words “American Dream,” what images and ideas come to your mind?

2. If I say the words “American culture,” what images and ideas come to your mind?

Text and Photographs Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

“Thirty men were running through the South Street Seaport today wearing red dresses and red sneakers. Some of them even had red wigs,” I wrote to my mother in October 2005. “This strange event took place out of the blue on a Sunday afternoon. Some of the guys wearing flowery or low-cut dresses were balding or elderly. I tell you, we just had to stare and laugh. Fortunately, I had a disposable camera with me ready to snap a few shots, or else I might have ended up with no evidence to show you that this actually happened. You might have said I was making this up!”

Who were those people running through the street in red dresses? I have no idea. Since they were wearing costumes, the event must have been planned beforehand. They must have been a group of performance artists.

Art is everywhere in New York City. We don’t have to go out of our way to see art. Sometimes it is right there on the street.

People think of art as being found in museums or in art galleries, but here in New York, art is often seen installed outdoors in city parks.

Art for sale is found in art galleries. Many art galleries these days are located in Chelsea, a downtown section of Manhattan. We visited an art gallery in Chelsea a couple of months ago and saw some paintings priced at $50,000 each, and some of them were marked “Sold.” In addition to being enjoyable, art can also be big business here.

The average artist, however, does not make $50,000 a painting. The average artist is a person just like anybody else, but he or she has a talent of some kind which he or she has developed over a period of time. Talent must be trained, otherwise the general public probably would not enjoy and support it.

Talent can be of many kinds. To be a good listener, for example, is a talent. To write is a talent that must be developed over a considerable period of time. Painters go to art school for many years to learn about drawing, the uses of color, and so forth before they ever have a public show.

I happen to think that graffiti is also a form of art. I often see graffiti of such a high quality that, in my opinion, it must be considered art.

In our commercial society, hardly anyone is able to make a living from writing, from artwork– and certainly not from graffiti. The enjoyment we get from art is very fleeting, but no one could argue with the fact that art brings a lot of enjoyment into our lives, especially if we are pro-active and learn to dance, to play a musical instrument, to wield a paint brush, to sing, to put on a performance, to write poetry, to compose music, to design a CD cover, and so forth. You get the idea.

Just because the world does not value art doesn’t mean art has no value. Art is a form of communication, and we all need more ways to communicate.

Questions for Discussion

1. When you think of artists, do you think they must be poor? Do you assume that they must not be working in the business world?

2. Do you know an artist of any kind; for example, a dancer, a painter, a writer, or a musician?

3. Do you have a talent in the arts? When and how did you learn that you were talented?

4. If you are talented, do you now have a teacher to help you develop your talent?

Photographs and Text Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

My husband and I were asleep in bed at 3 a.m. about six years ago when someone started pounding loudly on our door.  It was a fire woman.  She told us to get dressed immediately and leave the building. There was a fire on our floor.

Dressing in silence, I took only my bag. Outside, firemen had dragged their hoses up the stairwell and into an open door down the other end of the hall.  The  firewoman gestured that we should exit the building down the wet stairs. We did so.

When we got downstairs, my husband and I walked really fast around our own block without stopping, for no rational reason.

Then we went to stand across the street with two young women, roommates, from our floor. They were the ones who had heard the smoke alarm in the apartment next to theirs and called the fire department, thank goodness.

Standing on the sidewalk across the street from our building, we saw the firemen throwing things out of the sixth story window onto the sidewalk. Later, they removed their hoses and left.

Nobody ever told us to go back in, but soon we could see that the emergency was over. We mounted the wet stairs and went back inside our apartment.

We took off our shoes and street clothes and crawled back into bed. It was 4:30 a.m. My husband, who needed to be in the office in the morning, was back asleep within 5 minutes.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep.

We later heard that some man, a guest of the legal tenant, had set a mattress on fire with his cigarette, but these are just rumors. The legal tenant moved out a few weeks later, and we never heard anything else about this fire.

The building we live in is brick on the outside and wood inside. It is therefore combustible.  (Buildings like this are also sometimes called fire traps. Fire trap is a negative term.) More modern residential buildings have concrete barriers between the floors and metal fire doors so that fire cannot spread.

Fires are frequent in this city and we hear alarms and sirens at all times of the day and night. I have personally witnessed many fires close by, including numerous fires over the years  in the building where we live.

By city law, each apartment must have a smoke alarm. A smoke alarm is a small device that makes a piercingly loud sound if it detects smoke particles in the air. Many tenants also own a fire extinguisher.

I occasionally see a building gutted by fire. I always wonder where the former tenants went, after they got burnt out. I understand that the Salvation Army, an organization of volunteers, shows up within a few hours after a fire to distribute blankets. I heard they conduct the homeless to the city shelters, notorious for crime and despicable conditions.

After being rendered homeless, many individuals, both women and men, end up curled up in doorways or on the sidewalk, asleep in their blankets during the day.

I once actually saw a pregnant woman sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk begging near the entrance to an electronics store in a commercial area. A passerby said to me, ‘Don’t be worried about her. When she’s about to give birth, an ambulance will take her to a hospital. After she’s in the hospital, a social worker will find housing for her.’

I must say, I never saw homeless people on the streets of this city until around 1975. Before that, rents in the greater metropolitan area, including Manhattan, were affordable by average people. We used to be able to find a new apartment just by looking at the listings in the newspapers.

My first apartment in Manhattan — a studio in a newly renovated building with an elevator — cost me $100 a month. Even around 1980, people  could find apartments under $1,000, when they needed to move. But even studio apartments today rent for $3,300 a month, and most average people don’t have that kind of money.  That’s why people who get burnt out of their homes end up wrapped in blankets,  sleeping on the sidewalk.

Some Questions for Discussion

1. Do you live in an urban area, a small town, the suburbs, or in a rural area? Do you have a professional fire department where you live? Have you ever seen the firemen in action, with their sirens, hoses, and fire trucks?

2. Have you ever seen a fire close to where you live?

3. Have you ever had a fire at home? What happened?

4. Have you ever been rendered homeless by fire? What happened then?

5. Did this story change your mind about wanting to live in a big city?

Photos and Text Copyright © 2008. Revised in 2010.  Barbara A. English. All rights reserved. www.bookachat.com

I saw stars and diamonds in the water of the Hudson River that afternoon one year ago. I also saw these colors: light blue, pure white, medium green, moss green, beige, silver, and lilac. I saw large, flat, scary shapes coming toward me underwater. They looked like huge sea monsters, but I knew they were only harmless tricks of the light. The river water was dancing and playing. It never stayed the same for more than two minutes.

Many sail boats were on the river. I noticed that when a motorized boat was coming but still out of sight, the sound of its motor cast a chaotic net pattern over the waves. Was I mistaken, or did the helicopters flying over New York City also set this nervous, net-like vibration going at great distances?

I saw shiny puddles, like mercury, forming continuously on the surface of the waves. They were changing shape and disappearing, as if drawn by an invisible cartoonist. At another time the waves played at making circles, just as a man with a cigar might blow smoke rings for his own amusement.

The largest computer in the world could not have tracked for one minute all the wave patterns I saw in a small volume of river water. I took out my notebook and wrote: “All these vibrations are caused by only God knows what.”

Just then, in a marvelous coincidence, some clouds high in the sky floated away and a broad beam of light hit the water, sending a shower of sparkling star lights all the way across the river from the far shore to the very spot on which I was standing.

Could it be that the clouds and the river were responding to my state of appreciation? Does that sound highly unlikely? Maybe it does sound impossible. This occurrence was, however, very memorable. It caused me to sit up and take notice upon reading several bestselling books written by Dr. Masaru Emoto, the internationally renowned Japanese researcher and independent thinker. He has published photographic evidence demonstrating beyond a shadow of a doubt that water responds to and copies, in its own way, our words, thoughts, states of mind, images, and many other influences.

Dr. Emoto has photographed, for example, the effects on water (and on rice) of the words, “Thank you” and “You fool.” He has also photographed the distinctive effects of various musical compositions and pictorial images upon water. He discusses a ripple effect, the way flowing water spreads its messages far and wide around the world. Water’s ability to copy and disseminate could be the scientific explanation for many effects that have previously been unexplained and unexplainable.

He discusses, for example, the mechanism by which a person who harbors resentment or plots revenge will probably bring harm to himself and the people around him. The human body is 70 percent water. When we

harbor destructive thoughts, we are literally changing the structure of the water in our own bodies and in the bodies of the people around us.

So many people these days are filled with hatred and have become cynical, if not cruel. They don’t know why they should make any effort to move themselves into a more positive frame of mind. “Of course I’m angry,” they say; “You’d be angry, too.” They think their hatred is protecting them and that it is justified. Perhaps such people would benefit from studying Dr. Emoto’s revealing photographs.

In addition, Dr. Emoto discusses water’s well-known healing properties. It can carry our troubles away. If you find yourself feeling irritated or weary, you would do well to stand for a few minutes and watch water flowing, noticing its delightful qualities, even if you are only washing dishes in your own kitchen sink or rinsing your hands under a faucet at work. The human body is mostly water, after all, and the part of us that is water always wants to move as freely as a mountain stream. Whenever you are in contact with water, don’t you instantly feel relieved and refreshed?

Questions for Discussion

1. Many men like to go fishing and find it very relaxing. Do you enjoy any form of recreation around water?

2. Prior to the work of Dr. Emoto, no one understood how the Bach Flower Remedies could be effective, since the formulations are mostly water. Now that it is known that water can memorize healing frequencies, I am much more likely to use such water-based remedies, because they do not have unpleasant side effects and are not expensive. (Homeopathy, while not water-based, is another remedy that functions on the level of vibration.) What do you think? Is there an old tradition of using teas, infusions, or other vibration-level remedies where you live, or would you be more likely to head for a doctor to get a prescription for antibiotics when you are sick? Or would you use both types of medicine, depending on the circumstances?

3. Sometimes we human beings can be as blocked up as the Aswan High Dam in Egypt or the Three Gorges Dam in China. “When water cannot flow, it dies,” says Dr. Emoto, and human beings are 70% water. His words are more than poetic. They give us a reason to act on what we wanted to believe all along, that we should never settle for stagnation. Would you care to comment on this, using some situation from your own life as an example?

Photos and Text Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved. www.BookaChat.com

Let me tell you about insiders and outsiders in New York City. There are many communities and groups here, not one main group to join. So it would be difficult to say where the “inside” is.

New York City attracts many creative people, like actors, actresses, performers, artists, and writers, and such people are usually considered outsiders. But if they make it, become popular, they can become celebrities. Psychics, astrologers, and tarot card readers are another category of unusual people, and they often earn about $125 per hour.

Here are more types of outsiders: Alcoholics; homeless people and beggars; pickpockets and thieves; musicians and comedians; poets and priests; hermits; circus performers; anyone wearing a big tattoo; and anyone connected with prostitution or pornography.

A man whose hair is raised into tall, orange spikes is clearly announcing his outsider status. We see such outrageous outsider styles mainly in the East Village. Men who wore their hair too long and women who wore their hair too short were considered outsiders until the 1970s or 1980s, when all the styles changed. Now many men (and a few women) shave their heads, which completely eliminates the problem of what their hair might be saying about them.

Students, tourists, travelers and commuters are part of New York City’s large population of transients. Transients are always outsiders. Another kind of outsider is the late bloomer—someone who finds himself later in life, after the age of 40.  Retired and elderly people and anyone who does not go to school or work during the day might begin to feel like an outsider, too, from becoming isolated at home.

Two generations ago, an unmarried woman was considered to be an outsider unless she became a teacher, nurse, or nun. According to the 2005 census, however, 60 to 65% of the women living in Manhattan had never gotten married in their entire lives. What an amazing statistic! Are these women outsiders? They would be outsiders if they lived someplace else, but they are not outsiders here.

Immigrants are not considered outsiders here, either, since half the population of the city is foreign-born. Ability to speak English and ability to earn money are not related, since some of the best educated people earn very little money, while some of the least educated people are high earners. Also, multimillionaire wheeler-dealer businessmen, believe it or not, are often outsiders. Their maneuvering to reach the heights of financial success usually ends up alienating them from everybody they know.

So-called “crazy” people are outsiders. They used to be easily identified because they talked to themselves in public. Nowadays, however, because of cell phones, everybody talks to himself in public.

People who live in Brooklyn feel like outsiders when they travel into Manhattan. People from Manhattan feel like outsiders when they visit the outer boroughs of the city. This is due to differences in how people dress and how they talk. If you are dressed like an outsider and you talk like an outsider, then you must definitely be an outsider.

By the way, my friends who work in food shops and restaurants are never outsiders, in my opinion. You don’t call someone an outsider if he or she is bringing your food.

Your friend is never an outsider.

And when you have a friend, you are never an outsider, either.

Questions for Discussion:

1. Do you feel like an outsider where you live? Is this because you are young and have not found your place in life yet?

2. If you feel like an outsider where you live, do you think if you move to another city or country that you might find more friends? Where are you thinking of moving?

3. Do you live in a small town or small city where everybody knows you? Do you live in a big city where you see mostly strange faces when you go out into the street? Do you live in a rural area? Do you have many friends? Are you an insider where you live, or is that a silly question?

4.Twenty-five percent of young people aged 18 to 30 have tattoos in the USA. It used to be that only drunken sailors in foreign ports or soldiers away in the armed forces got tattoos. Tattoos are still not socially acceptable, but apparently more and more people do not care about that. Do you think that having a big tattoo is a mistake?

Photograph and Text Copyright © 2011   Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.

Discussion:

A. Look at the picture. What do you see? These words will help you.

man woman handshake meeting smile suit handbag briefcase pavement

B. Read and discuss the following questions.

1. Why are these people shaking hands?

2. Have these people met before?

3. What do you think the woman is saying?

4. Are these people dressed for work, for shopping or for a holiday?

Types of Greetings:

A. Verbal and Non-verbal.

There are verbal greetings (when there is speech) and non-verbal greetings (when there is an action and no speech). Read each of the following and decide:
Whether it is a verbal or non-verbal greeting
Who would use it

1. Hand wave 5. Bow
2. ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’ 6. ‘Good morning’
3. ‘Nice to see you again’ 7. Hug
4. Smile 8. Salute

Can you think of any other examples?

B. Formal and Informal Greetings.

The way we greet other people depends on our relationship with them. Look at these pairs of greetings and decide which one is the more formal.

1. handshake wave

2. smile salute

3. ‘Good morning’ ‘Hi’

4. ‘What’s up?’ ‘Hello’

5. bow handshake

C. Time of Day.

Greetings change for morning, afternoon and evening. You use:

Good morning Good afternoon Good evening

When you leave you say:

Goodbye Bye Good night (if it is evening) See you later

1. How would you greet a friend if you meet in the afternoon?

2. What would you say when you left?

D. Hand Clapping

When people clap their hands together loudly it can be a greeting for a special occasion. It is called ‘applause’.

Can you think of some examples?

If you need a clue think of a sporting event or a concert.

Role Play:
Two role plays follow. You both have parts. In the first role play pretend that you are two friends meeting. In the second role play pretend that you are business colleagues. The tutor is given some speech and the student must respond. Try to keep the conversation flowing.

Role Play One: Two friends meet at a shopping mall.

Tutor: Hello.

Student:

Tutor: How are you?

Student:

Tutor: I haven’t seen you for a while. What have you been up to?

Student:

Tutor: Ok. Let’s catch up next week. I’ll call you. Bye for now.

Student:
Role Play Two: Two business colleagues meet in the corridor of a big company.

Tutor: Good morning James.

Student:

Tutor: Are you going to the Board meeting?

Student:

Tutor: I read the paper on increasing our sales. Do you think it a good idea?

Student:

Tutor: Why?

Student:

Tutor: I would like to see you this afternoon. What time would you be free?

Student:
Tutor: I will see you then. Goodbye.

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Copyright (c) 2008 AJ. All Rights Reserved. www.BookaChat.com

As the result of lots of feedback from students, the BookaChat development team has been busy working on a new service that we are calling Learn Now! Learn Now, which has just been launched, is an instant chat lesson service where, if a tutor is online, students can start a lesson with them immediately without having to book a date and time in advance.

If you are a BookaChat tutor, update your Skype profile so students can start learning with you today.

For more information on Learn Now sign in and view the Learn Now tutorial in the help section.

We look forward to your feedback on this new service.

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