I have heard that when a Japanese worker is laid off from his job, he might throw himself in front of a train. Suicide is crazy. No sane person would kill himself. Just because the world is crazy, doesn’t mean we have to be crazy, too.
The news in the media has been terrible. Sometimes it feels like our future has been stolen from us. We may not feel good today, but didn’t we all grow up believing that our completion would come sometime in the future? For this reason, we don’t want to think there’s no future.
Thinking about the question of whether the world is going to end soon is a waste of time. It’s just the bad habit of worrying, carried to an extreme. There’s good worrying, when I can think of something constructive to do with myself. I’m not personally in control of the future, so worrying about the future would have to be called bad worrying: worrying about something I can’t do anything about.
The fact that businessmen are still trying to make money off the end of the world is an indication to me that the world is not about to end anytime soon.
Questions for Discussion
Some people are very future-oriented. Their minds are on where they’re going later. They always seem to be leaving. Do you know someone like this?
Some people are very good at planning for the future. They have made 5-year plans and 10-year plans. They started saving for their retirement when they were 18 years old. Do you know someone like this?
If you are thinking about the future, what do you plan to do in the future?
Photo and Text Copyright (c) 2009 Barbara A. English All rights reserved.
Someone sent me an e-mail that Sheryl Crow, the singer, got breast cancer from drinking bottled water that had been left in a car. The heat inside the car, the e-mail said, caused dioxin to leach out of the plastic bottle into the water she drank. Dioxin is one of the most toxic substances known to man. Dioxin is released when plastics are made and also when they are disposed of. I don’t know if the story about Sheryl Crow is true. It is an e-rumor in reaction to the great toxicity of our environment.
In early 2002, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Manager of the Wellness and Lifestyle Medicine Department at Castle Medical Center in Hawaii, gave a TV interview on this subject. In his interview, Dr. Fujimoto warned us not to use plastic containers to heat our food in microwave ovens. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastic releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
He recommended using glass, such as Corning Ware or Pyrex, or ceramic containers for heating food. Such things as TV dinners, instant ramen, and soups should be removed from the container and heated in something else, even if its plastic packaging was designed for the microwave. Paper is not bad, but it is safest to use heat-resistant glass or a ceramic container.
Dr. Fujimoto reminded us that in recent years some of the fast food restaurants moved away from styrofoam containers to paper. The dioxin problem was one of the reasons.
Also, he said that plastic wrap, such as Saran Wrap, is extremely dangerous when placed over foods in a microwave oven. He suggested covering the food with a paper towel instead.
Despite the importance of this subject, nobody seems to know much about it. Plastics only came into wide usage about 30 or 40 years ago. Dioxin is formed when plastics are heated.
How hot do plastics have to be before dioxin and several other known disease-causing agents begin to leach out of them into your food? Nobody knows. The safest assumption is that even moderate heat will cause this leaching, and that we must therefore replace plastic with metal, glass, or ceramic containers to cook and store our food and water.
How does dioxin get inside our bodies ordinarily, even if we don’t use a microwave oven or drink bottled water? We eat it. Dioxin rises in the food chain and is therefore found in almost all meats, fish, and dairy products. This is considered to be one of the best reasons to switch to a vegan diet.
Dr. Fujimoto in an interview in 2006 with TruthOrFiction.com said that in Japan the majority of the population knows about dioxins, and the country has enacted regulations to protect its people.
I don’t hear this issue being discussed in the United States. On the contrary, when I go to the supermarket, I see a wide variety of microwaveable foods for sale, all packaged in plastic containers. These plastic containers are usually labeled as safe for use in a microwave oven, but we obviously should be skeptical of that claim. I also see row upon row of bottled water available in plastic bottles. We have all been advised not to re-use old water bottles, and I suppose that’s a good idea. Using a canteen, thermos, or a stainless steel bottle would probably be even safer.
Most of us are in a hurry. We have jobs; we have projects; we have duties and responsibilities; we have important things to do. We have no time to chew our food, never mind cook our food. Is it not so? We would have to change our minds about a lot of things — we would really have to change our value system — in order to remain healthy. Nobody seems to care whether or not we are healthy. My boss just wants the work done. My teacher just wants the paper done. I have a lot of things to do today. Nobody cares about my food and my health, only me. Do I even care? What do you think it takes to change a person’s mind about making his own health a high priority? Is your mind already changed? This is an issue that concerns us all, and I’m sure we’ll all be keeping our eyes on it.
Photo credit: The graphic image at the top of this post is from a billboard advertisement for Vans sneakers.
Questions for Discussion
Have you ever taken a shower curtain out of its wrapper and wondered what that horrible smell was? Have you ever drunk water out of a plastic bottle that has been sitting around for awhile and wondered what that horrible taste was?
Everybody who lives in an industrialized country already has high levels of dioxin in his or her body. How could we not? Plastic production is booming and raw plastic is sold to companies that heat and mold it into everything from refrigerators to radios, from wallpaper to the insulation around wires, from your cell phone to your plumbing pipes. Look around your room. Make a list of everything you see that is made of plastic.
Some people think that microwave ovens are a miracle, because they can cook your dinner in a few minutes instead of a few hours. Do you cook food in a microwave oven? What are the conveniences of cooking in a microwave oven?
Did you know that you cannot make plastics without producing dioxins? A few other industrial processes also result in the production of dioxins. These toxins build up in the body slowly, accumulating in fatty tissue, causing infertility, endometriosis, miscarriages, birth defects, low sperm counts, low testosterone levels, diabetes, nervous system disorders, and, of course, ___________ . [Please fill in the blank.]
Did you know that while finished plastic is said to be non-toxic and very stable, one of its ingredients, vinyl chloride, is classified as a known human carcinogen? This was already known in the 1960s, but that did not prevent vinyl chloride from being used as a propellant in aerosols, like cans of hair spray, until 1974. Women used to spray this stuff on their heads to keep their hair in place! My question is: Do you think this is a true story or that I am making it up?
Are you aware of other environmental hazards? What do you think is the best way we can protect ourselves from environmental hazards going forward into the future?
People say we need to avoid all ingredients and household products having “chloro” as part of their names. What do you think about this?
Because dioxin accumulates in fat cells and because women’s bodies have more fat cells, people might be thinking that this is only a woman’s issue. That is not true. According to the Environmental Protection Agency [an agency of the government], much of the population of the U.S. is alreadyat the dose at which there can be serious health effects, according to Jonathan Campbell, a health consultant. You don’t have to be a woman to put a TV dinner packaged in plastic into the microwave and then eat it. Do you think you will ever do that again? Or do you think you will make every effort to buy glass or ceramic containers for food you put into the microwave?
While we would never put nylon, spandex, or polyester into an oven, of course, many people cook with Tupperware, a harder plastic which is considered to be oven-safe, and Teflon, a plastic coating that protects frying pans. Bakelite was an early form of plastic, and it is hard and fire resistant. However, a main ingredient of Bakelite is formaldehyde, and when Bakelite burns, that makes a very stinky fire indeed. We would not put a Coco-Cola bottle or most food trays, made of PET plastic, into an oven. There are about 22 different types of plastics in use currently. Who decides which are safe for cooking and storing our drinking water? How many long-term safety studies have been done?
The major source of dioxin is our food. It works its way up to the top of the food chain as we eat meat, fish, and dairy products. Those who have studied this subject recommend a vegan diet. Only vegetarian meat substitutes like tofu, beans, and rice have essentially no contamination. Do you know what a vegan diet is? It’s rather strict. Do you think that you and that the people you know would be willing to give up tasty or traditional foods you are now eating, like meats and cheeses, for example, solely to prevent a miscarriage ten years from now or a cancer 20 years from now? That might require a different kind of thinking, wouldn’t it? What is the difference between taking the short view (being short-sighted) and taking the long view?
Or does it go against human nature to change our food habits and values?
Around the year 1640 AD in France, René Descartes noticed that he was thinking. From this he concluded: “I think, therefore I am.” Descartes was a mathematician and a very important philosopher in the West.
Even though we are not philosophers, we are often asked to define our existence by making ‘I’ statements. We are forced to answer questions like these: “What is your favorite color? What hair style do you look best in? Do you want to get married? What subject do you want to study in school? What are your plans for the future?” And here is the most persistent question of all: “What do you think about that?”
We are expected to carve our personal identities out of solid stone, for the world yields up nothing without a struggle. We are supposed to become separate, self-reliant individuals.
I would say that the fundamental ‘I statement’ of an independent adult must be: “I’ll decide things for myself by thinking about them” or “I think, therefore I’ll be the judge of that.” As I go through the process of perceiving myself as different from all others, I acquire what is called good judgment and confidence in my own powers of discrimination. And part of that process is that I come to believe that I am right. It follows logically that you must be wrong.
How can this nonsensical state of affairs be the truth? This state of affairs is the truth because the human brain is hard-wired to make judgments automatically, like a machine.
In other words, we are judgmental because of the way our brains work.
Let me give you an example. I see someone in the street. If I don’t like something about her clothes, I may think: “Why can’t people look in a mirror before they go out of the house? What’s wrong with them?” Seeing and judging (perception and interpretation) take place simultaneously—and that is our basic dilemma as human beings. Our judgments fill our minds with negative thoughts, blocking any enjoyment and harmony in our lives.
By the time we reach adolescence, therefore, we may dislike the entire circle of people we know. “My boyfriend loans money to his friends, who don’t pay him back. He’s an idiot. School is boring and the other kids are repulsive. I dropped out of high school.” Until, to be honest, there is no one left for us to admire or love. The writer J.D. Salinger created a fictional character like this in his novel, The Catcher in the Rye. This is the perfect book to read about this state of mind. The main character is a teenager named Holden, who hates everyone he knows. This novel was first published in English in 1951 and has been translated into most of the world’s major languages. I recommend it to you most highly.
Most people learn not to blurt out their judgments in public, of course. But we have been taught it’s okay to dislike people—in the secret recesses of our own mind.
It is true that we all need to define ourselves through making ‘I’ statements. We all need discernment in order to make good choices for ourselves. But the ultimate statement of the discriminating mind will not be, “I think, therefore I’ll be the judge of that.” A wise person says: “Despite what I’m thinking, I know that I do not know.”
And it is good to reach that point, because it means we can remember all the times we thought we knew the truth, only to find out later how wrong we were.
Judging is nothing but a bad habit. The way to overcome any bad habit is by learning something new. In my opinion, you can take charge over the judging machine that is your brain by making a decision to be a happier person.
For example, you might make a practice of saying this to yourself when you wake up in the morning: “I set the intention to be happy today.” Maybe this sounds too simple, but it really works. It does not require more money, a better job, a different spouse, or going to live in another place. My brain may be hard-wired to judge and suffer the consequences of negative thinking, but I am not a machine. I am not a robotic creature. I have decided to change my mind. I have decided to view life differently.
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” as the expression goes. That means that when a person decides that there is a better way to live, he or she will find a way to do so.
Some Questions for Discussion:
Does a person need an individual identity?
Have you ever had an identity crisis, a time when you were not sure who you were in relation to other people?
Do you have a strong identity from your family or from your religion?
Do you have a strong identity from your job or profession?
Do you find it hard to make ‘I statements’ to pass tests of proficiency in English?
Do you have any idea why Descartes felt he had to prove that he existed?
Have you ever changed your life by making a decision?
Have you ever changed your life by setting an intention?
Photo credit: The graphic image of the robotic woman is from an ad for Svedka vodka.
One of my students was covered with bedbug bites from staying overnight in a youth hostel. Even five-star hotels have bedbugs these days. Bedbugs do not eat your food or make holes in your clothes. They hide during the day and come out at night to bite you when you’re asleep. They prefer to live close to the warmth of sleeping human bodies, so they can usually be found and caught under mattresses or around beds.
There is a worldwide epidemic of bedbugs. Bedbugs do not carry diseases, but they are a significant cause of mental distress. Many people fear them even after they’re gone. This is because you can never know when they’re really gone. A bedbug can live in a dormant state for perhaps a year without feeding.
Are you in bed with a bedbug? When they bite and you move in your sleep, they tend to leave three small bites in a row, which is the telltale sign of a bedbug.
If this ever happens to you, go online immediately to review all the remedies. You want to take action before these insects grow in numbers and get into your books, papers, cabinetry, walls, and floors. Mostly, they like to live in mattresses, however, close to the warmth of the human body.
A social stigma makes this subject unmentionable. But if you find out that you have bedbugs, the first thing you should do is complain about it and tell the people in charge. It might be difficult to get rid of them on your own.
If you have bedbugs at home, here are some effective ways to catch and eliminate them: (1) use double-stick carpet tape to catch them at doorways or before they enter your home; (2) use of special insect powder around baseboards and beds; and (3) use of sprays. If you see the bugs and want to kill them on the spot, people say that almost any spray will do, from hairspray and underarm deodorant to oven cleaner, because spraying these bugs causes them to stop breathing.
Another good way to eliminate bedbugs is: (4) use heat. It only takes 113 degrees F to kill them. Clothing and bedding can be debugged in an ordinary clothes dryer. Entire rooms can also be treated by raising the temperature. Researchers successfully debugged furniture by building a box around the item and putting a heater inside so that the temperature inside the box was raised to 140 degrees F. (Med Vet Entomol 09;23:418-425)
Talking about bedbugs is making me itchy!
Questions for Discussion
Have you ever encountered bedbugs? If so, please relate your experience with these pesky insects.
When I first arrived in New York City, people never talked about how much money they made at their jobs or what rent they paid for their apartments. Those subjects were unmentionable. Now people talk about these subjects all the time. Can you think of other examples of formerly unmentionable topics that became mentionable later?
There are so many stigmas. Whenever people feel ashamed or disgraced, you can bet there is another stigma operating. Can you make a list of social stigmas?
We live in crowded NYC, so where do we go for space? I used to go a garden, until a park guard scolded me for stepping too close to a flower.
The search for space can be very frustrating here in the city. Then, one gloriously sunny afternoon, I turned a corner, and there it was—the largest outdoor space in the City of New York, the Hudson River.
I had discovered Pier 40. Pier 40 is home to a large playing field used by young soccer players. It houses both the free kayaking program and the free rowing program. Most importantly, Pier 40’s large, square structure provides a great space to walk in the sunshine and breathe the salt sea air. The benches all around the perimeter allow a fantastic view of river traffic — sailboats, cruise ships, barges, speedboats, water taxis, and sightseeing boats. Many people enjoy running, walking, and exercising there. One can also sit quietly indoors in the shade to read a book or have a meal at the picnic tables. Really, it is the perfect place to relax, just the way it is.
That must be why developers have plans to tear it down and build a recreation center there.
Open space is so hard to find in NYC that many people have installed private gardens on their rooftops. People can somehow install grass, trees, flowers, bushes, and climbing vines on the roofs of tall buildings without water damage to the tenants below. People are building wooden decks in all available spaces and buying lounge chairs and barbecue equipment. The formal garden shown in the photo to the right is sitting on the roof of a six-story building. Needless to say, building a rooftop garden is not something the average person can afford.
I think dogs have a better deal. Owners can take their pets to one of the free neighborhood dog runs. I like to watch the dogs jumping, running after balls, splashing about in a small pool, wagging their tails, and having a great time.
Why don’t we have places like that for people?
I’m not trying to make trouble. I’m just asking.
Suggested Questions for Discussion:
If you live in a crowded city, do you have a way of getting enough exercise?
Apartments used to be larger. Landlords have now subdivided the large apartments into smaller apartments at many times the rent. Renters take on roommates. Perhaps nobody cares about having physical space anymore, since we can all access electronic spaces of various kinds: musical space or cyberspace, using a computer or cellphone. What do you think?
Do you think the advantages of living in an urban environment compensate for the lack of physical space there?
If a child is good in school, his parents think their child is showing great promise and is destined for a brilliant career. But here we are speaking of the expectations, wishes, and dreams of the parents, not promises made by children. If the parents are later disappointed, this doesn’t mean the young person broke a promise. It is simply an example of how people’s dreams are often unrealistic.
During political campaigns, candidates running for office typically make big promises. If you elect me, I’ll do this and that, they earnestly proclaim to the voting public. Are they usually able to keep these promises? No, they aren’t. It’s hard for many people, therefore, to believe the campaign promises made by politicians.
To keep one’s pledges and vows, to be as good as one’s word, has always been considered a sign of good character. Two generations ago, religious principles determined what behavior was right and wrong. In today’s mix of religious and cultural backgrounds, people frequently do not agree on ethics. Many people today, for example, claim a right to bend the truth, change their minds, and break their promises, if that is more to their personal advantage.
“I’ll never do it again,” someone I know said, only to do the same bad thing again. He broke his promise. I was very disappointed in him, because he was not as good as his word.
An appointment is another kind of promise which is frequently broken. For example: My girlfriend was once supposed to meet me for lunch, but she didn’t show up. She left me standing there. She stood me up.
Banks and stores will not extend credit to us if we do not keep our financial promises. Companies will only mail bills to our homes and offices if we have a history of paying our debts on time. If we become financially irresponsible, merchants will demand payment in cash only.
These days, business is often played as a game in which anything goes, and many entrepreneurial types do not remember from one day to the next the promises they may have made to dozens of people, including their own employees, partners, and investors. When we want to accomplish something in the world, therefore, we often need to spell everything out in written contracts.
In today’s busy world, ordinary people, including our friends, often make promises and then forget to keep them. In other words, people tend to forget their commitments unless they are reminded of them.
One of the biggest promises anyone can make in his or her life is the commitment we give in marriage. The traditional marriage vow is a promise to cherish our partner through all circumstances, “until death do us part.” If the marriage does not work out, however, many people choose to separate these days. Divorce can be the most painful broken promise of all.
Society is a fabric we weave every day out of our promises to each other. Since we do not agree on this anymore, is society itself unraveling? Whatever the answer to that question, it is an error for any individual to think his promises do not matter. They matter on the personal level, and they also matter to us all.
Some questions for discussion:
(1)Now it’s your turn to talk about keeping and breaking promises. Has anyone broken a promise to you recently?
(2)Have you ever gone back on a promise? If so, how did the other person react? What happened after that?
(3)Do you think it’s important to keep your promises and be as good as your word?
I was in heaven the whole time I was talking to the man from Skylink with the deep, resonant voice, because I don’t think it gets any better than that. For example, he said: “Enter this in your browser: 155.656.1.1, and then press Enter.”
I stroked the numbers. “Pressing Enter,” I murmured.
I know we were only talking about my Internet connection, but it was so calming to be on the line with another human being who knew how to listen and speak. We were trying to get something done in an orderly way. The problem was that only three of the four lights on my DSL modem would go on, no matter what the man from Skylink did, and no matter what I did. As the man went through a very long diagnostic procedure, I began to think the modem must be broken. Just at that point, he told me that he was transferring me to another line and left me. That was 45 minutes ago. And that is where I have been waiting ever since.
The memory lingers in my mind, however, as I listen to classical music on the line, of what it felt like to actually be speaking to an articulate human being, to be doing something together, and to feel peaceful about that.
While I was waiting, my husband came home and I stood up from my chair and told him I would be on the phone for a while.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
“Because I don’t want you to disconnect me,” I said.
The first thing he did was go to the other extension and play around with it, picking the receiver up and putting it down, making loud clicking sounds on the line.
“Don’t disconnect me,” I said calmly. “I’ve been waiting one hour and 13 minutes to speak with someone.”
“I’ll let you have another five minutes, tops,” he said, but I turned away from him before he finished speaking. He was smiling and I am sure he thought he was saying something funny, but I failed to see the humor.
I have now been on hold for one hour and 30 minutes. My lower back is killing me from sitting so long in the chair. I get up to stretch a little.
I wonder if I could Open my husband and click on some Window. I would select the Preferences tab and uncheck the Silent Type. I would check someone a little more Communicative. At least, that’s what I think I’d do. But we’ve been married for 31 years, a little late for drastic changes. Perhaps it would be easier if I could learn to smile when he’s trying to be funny.
“Thank you for your patience,” the recorded message on the line said.
Skylink is a huge corporation. At least my husband’s right here. He’s in the other room.
I haven’t had my dinner and I’m beginning to get tired of waiting. I’m beginning to think this waiting is some test of human endurance, as in: “How long do you think the customers can be made to wait?” Do I sound like I’m complaining? One minute I had an Internet connection. The next minute, I didn’t. That’s the way it goes. Life is a series of ups and downs, or a series of disappointments, depending on how you look at it. Except that when I’m talking with the people at Skylink, I feel like I’m in heaven.
This is what the message is now saying: “All Customer Support Agents are assisting other customers. Please continue to hold for a Customer Support Agent. Thank you for your patience.” This message repeats every two minutes exactly. I know this because I just timed it. The recorded message refers to Customer Support Agents, but I am beginning to think that in reality they do not exist. They might be a figment of some very cruel person’s imagination.
My husband comes in behind me and startles me by kissing me on the mouth. “You’re so patient,” he whispers admiringly into my ear. Then he goes off to sleep. He’s usually very tired from his job. He comes home, eats, and falls asleep. He often falls asleep even when I’m talking to him. Nobody from Skylink ever fell asleep while I was talking to him. No, they’re all very good at listening and speaking.
I hung up the phone after waiting for three hours. I then found that real people from Skylink had called me twice while I had been on hold. I must have been a fool to have waited on the telephone line in this day and age, when no one knows what patience is! I decided I’d never tell another living soul how long I actually waited.
Even though it was now late, I dialed the number they had left. I thought they had given me a special number, a number that went directly to the desk of a skilled engineer, a specialist who understood everything there was to know about my modem.
And this was the message I heard: “All Customer Support Agents are assisting other customers. Please continue to hold for a Customer Support Agent. Thank you for your patience.” Their message sounded so calm and composed. I took in a deep breath, and let it out again.
Good night, ladies and gentlemen of Skylink. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow, when I’ll be able to speak with you again.
Questions for Discussion:
When you need to call for technical support for your computer, do you enjoy those phone calls? Or do such phone calls cause you trouble?
Can you usually resolve your computer issues over the telephone by placing a call to a technical support person?
Do you feel comfortable speaking over the telephone? Or would you rather send a text message, write a letter, send an email, or make an appointment to see and speak to someone in person?
There are more indirect methods of communication. For example, we might give someone a gift to let him know we are thinking of him. We might play music that communicates our feelings. Do you think you are better at expressing yourself directly in words or indirectly using other methods?
I am excited by BookaChat’s new English courses. I am saying how I feel. In many cultures, it is not necessary to mention feelings or to know what your feelings are. But to speak English, we must be able to say how we feel.
In fact, tests of competency in English always ask students to write personal essays giving opinions on broad topics. To pass these essay questions, you will need to be aware of the feelings that determine your personal point of view.
Love and fear are the only two fundamental human feelings. From these two come all the others. Feelings are not good or bad. They are only experienced (felt) or not experienced (not felt). All feelings are felt in the body and pass away rather quickly.
“I feel sick,” however, is not a feeling. It is a sensation. Sensations come from specific body parts, usually from a certain organ, like the feet or the skin. “My feet are hot,” is a sensation. “My shoulder muscles are stiff,” is a sensation. “I have a pain in my stomach, ” is a sensation.
Our feelings reflect our inner life — our emotions, our sentiments, our desires, our likes and dislikes. It’s best never to exaggerate what we say or think about our feelings, because we can actually scare or discourage ourselves and other people if we do so.
If you fail an exam, for example, never say: “I can’t learn English. I’m hopeless.” Better: “I’m tired from taking this test. I’ll relax and forget about it for a while. I’m confident I’ll pass this test next time.”
Here is another example: Never say: “I can’t write English.” Better: “I’ll practice the past tenses in English. Then I’ll be able to write anything.”
A native speaker of English would recognize every word on the following list. If the words are not familiar to you, do not rush to learn them all quickly. This list is to be used more as a reference or resource.
(1) Look at the photograph of the giant woman swimmer, which is a big work of art, not a real woman. Look at the workman on the right, who is an actual man, and try to identify what you think he might be feeling, given his posture and the look on his face. Then find a few of those words on the list.
(2) Have you ever been unclear about particular words for feelings in English? Let’s discuss them now.
The sculpture is named “The Survival of Serena (Red Cap)” and the artist is Carole A. Feuerman.
Homework:
Whenever you identify a feeling that is not on this list, add it to the list. This list can become your master list of the words for feelings in English.
BookaChat has partnered with a leading provider of English language materials in order to provide BookaChat members with a large selection of English courses which combined, total over 1200 hours of interactive, multi-media learning. On the website http://www.bookachat.com/english/ you can view detailed course information, access FREE demo courses and get access to the full courses starting from only $1 a day. The courses include:
We really hope that you take advantage of this excellent opportunity to expand your English language skills. Combined with tuition from one of BookaChat’s online tutors this is the best way you can improve your English skills and gain the proficiency you want and deserve.
If you don’t make such list, you may rush around like a maniac trying to get everything done in one day. You may become irritated, angry, and even violent with your loved ones. In this way, making a To Do list can save lives.
Another of my favorite lists (besides the To Do Tomorrow list) is the Never Do list. This is a very long list in my case. There are lots of things in life I would rather never do. In this category I put moving bookcases in order to clean behind them, clearing old papers out of filing drawers, straightening up inside kitchen cabinets, and many other tasks of this type, generally involving heavy pieces of furniture or ladders.
There is my Hardly Ever Do list. These are things I can usually talk my husband into doing for me. In some cases, he actually likes doing these things, which is, of course, the ideal situation. In practical reality, however, these are things I hope he feels duty-bound to do. If I get an oily spot on my clothes, for example, I hope my husband will rush to remove it with spot remover. When tax time rolls around, however, I do our paperwork. Spot removal is on my Hardly Ever Do list. Taxes are on my husband’s Never Do list.
A note about To Do lists: They contain only things people never want to do. Interesting things don’t need listing, because such activities aren’t likely to slip our minds.
I have a I Cannot Understand How To list. For example, “I cannot fix the dripping faucet, because I don’t understand anything about plumbing.” In all these instances, I could probably find the missing information at the public library or on the Internet. Maybe that list should be called: Things I Never Wanted to Understand.
Here’s another important list: Things You Don’t Understand. The longer we know or live with someone, the longer this list grows.
For example, my husband this morning used the command form of speech and ordered me to “Get dressed” three hours before we were due to go out. Like most people who are not on active duty in the armed forces, I prefer being reminded to do things in a nice way, like this: “Do you think you’ll be ready on time?” or “Do you remember that we’re going to the movies tonight?”
Of course, my husband, who already has me on his own ThingsYou Don’t Understand About Me list, would be correct in his use of language should there be an actual outbreak of war. Can you imagine a four-star general addressing his troops this way: “Would you men over there please take your showers, so we won’t be late to the hostilities?”
So, in conclusion, what can I say? Lists are good. And remember: When you finish something, cross it off your list. Believe me, you’ll feel organized.
Some questions for discussion:
1. Do you use a shopping list when you go to the grocery store?
2. Do you live with family members? Do you live with roommates? Do you live with your husband or wife? Do you live with children? What method do you use to divide up the household chores?
3. We used to say: “If you want to remember something, tie a string around your finger,” but I have never seen anyone do this. These days we use Post-Its and stick them to the kitchen table. How do you remind yourself to do things? Do you use an appointment book or a calendar? Do you put reminders on your computer?
![[del.icio.us]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Faves]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/faves.png)
![[Google]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Yahoo!]](http://bookachat.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/yahoo.png)
Let me give you an example. I see someone in the street. If I don’t like something about her clothes, I may think: “Why can’t people look in a mirror before they go out of the house? What’s wrong with them?” Seeing and judging (perception and interpretation) take place simultaneously—and that is our basic dilemma as human beings. Our judgments fill our minds with negative thoughts, blocking any enjoyment and harmony in our lives.
damage to the tenants below. People are building wooden decks in all available spaces and buying lounge chairs and barbecue equipment. The formal garden shown in the photo to the right is sitting on the roof of a six-story building. Needless to say, building a rooftop garden is not something the average person can afford.
