Showing Promise and Keeping Promises

August 29, 2008 – 9:17 pm

If a child is good in school, his parents think their child is showing great promise and is destined for a brilliant career. But here we are speaking of the expectations, wishes, and dreams of the parents, not promises made by children. If the parents are later disappointed, this doesn’t mean the young person broke a promise. It is simply an example of how people’s dreams are often unrealistic.

During political campaigns, candidates running for office typically make big promises. If you elect me, I’ll do this and that, they earnestly proclaim to the voting public. Are they usually able to keep these promises? No, they aren’t. It’s hard for many people, therefore, to believe the campaign promises made by politicians.

To keep one’s pledges and vows, to be as good as one’s word, has always been considered a sign of good character. Two generations ago, religious principles determined what behavior was right and wrong. In today’s mix of religious and cultural backgrounds, people frequently do not agree on ethics. Many people today, for example, claim a right to bend the truth, change their minds, and break their promises, if that is more to their personal advantage.

“I’ll never do it again,” someone I know said, only to do the same bad thing again. He broke his promise. I was very disappointed in him, because he was not as good as his word.

An appointment is another kind of promise which is frequently broken. For example: My girlfriend was once supposed to meet me for lunch, but she didn’t show up. She left me standing there. She stood me up.

Banks and stores will not extend credit to us if we do not keep our financial promises. Companies will only mail bills to our homes and offices if we have a history of paying our debts on time. If we become financially irresponsible, merchants will demand payment in cash only.

These days, business is often played as a game in which anything goes, and many entrepreneurial types do not remember from one day to the next the promises they may have made to dozens of people, including their own employees, partners, and investors. When we want to accomplish something in the world, therefore, we often need to spell everything out in written contracts.

In today’s busy world, ordinary people, including our friends, often make promises and then forget to keep them. In other words, people tend to forget their commitments unless they are reminded of them.

One of the biggest promises anyone can make in his or her life is the commitment we give in marriage. The traditional marriage vow is a promise to cherish our partner through all circumstances, “until death do us part.” If the marriage does not work out, however, many people choose to separate these days. Divorce can be the most painful broken promise of all.

Society is a fabric we weave every day out of our promises to each other. Since we do not agree on this anymore, is society itself unraveling? Whatever the answer to that question, it is an error for any individual to think his promises do not matter. They matter on the personal level, and they also matter to us all.

Some questions for discussion:

(1) Now it’s your turn to talk about keeping and breaking promises. Has anyone broken a promise to you recently?

(2) Have you ever gone back on a promise? If so, how did the other person react? What happened after that?

(3) Do you think it’s important to keep your promises and be as good as your word?

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