American Culture and the American Dream

July 6, 2008 – 5:07 pm

There is no such thing as American culture. What people see in Hollywood movies is not the real America.

Religious and family traditions are the two pillars of culture. Most American families are officially Christian, but many young people do not go to church on Sunday anymore. And everybody knows that family ties are weakening and falling apart all over the world, not just in the United States.

In everyday life, American culture means keeping up appearances—trying to fit in. Think about it. This is a country of immigrants. The mother may have been born in South Korea, where her grandparents were Buddhist. The husband may have been born in Brooklyn, New York, of Jewish heritage, maybe from Europe. How does such a couple raise their children? What holidays do they celebrate? How do they dress? When they go to the grocery store to buy food, what food do they buy? What meals do they cook? Do they continue to practice any religion?

I hope you can see how these complex questions must be discussed and worked out within each and every couple. Excellent communication skills are needed in all these melting pot situations. Building bridges between dissimilar belief systems is difficult if not impossible, so you can see why families often fall apart in America.

Many marriages in the United States end in divorce. In fact, the trend is for young people never to get married in the first place. They simply want to live together with no permanent ties.

“The United States has the weakest families in the Western world because we have the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting,” says David Popenoe, a sociology professor and co-author of the report entitled The State of Our Unions 2005. This report analyzes Census and other data and is issued annually by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey’s Rutgers University.

What about the American Dream, the idea that I can buy my own house, that hard work will result in a good life? I have seen many instances of the American Dream coming true.

Many factors must come together, however, in order for people to realize the American Dream: communication among family members, ability to hold long-term goals in common, ability to work together, willingness to pursue higher education, willingness on the part of adults to commit their lives to working for the benefit of their children, and last, but not least, good luck. Striving like this is generally only seen in recent immigrants. While America still believes in the work ethic (the idea that hard work will be rewarded), this belief is not held as strongly by third or fourth generation Americans as it is by recent immigrants and their children.

Given that there is no distinctly American culture, are there a few traits that characterize Americans in general? Yes, I think there are a few.

First, this is a country of winners and losers. We think there can only be one winner, or only a few winners, and every individual wishes to be a winner. Being the best is important to us. Nothing makes us happier than winning the top prize, walking off with the most desirable guy or gal, being recognized for our special gifts, being seen as top dog, and so forth. Being just an average person in a group of other average people does not appeal to us at all. The concept of a win-win solution to a conflict perplexes most Americans. The downside of this way of seeing things is that if I am not the winner, then, logically, I must see myself as a loser. And people who see themselves as losers, as outcasts, suffer greatly in America.

Secondly, we start fresh after failures and losses. We pick ourselves up and try again. We re-invent ourselves, often many times in one lifetime. To use an analogy from the game of boxing, an American is rarely “down for the count.” Even men who have served time in jail frequently rehabilitate themselves, get jobs, and become productive members of society. Many of us cannot be prevented from trying to achieve something worthwhile with our lives. The typical American has three careers.

Thirdly, we frequently volunteer our time and money. We are big givers to worthy causes. Americans can be found helping out at hospitals, community centers, senior centers, sending money to rescue efforts around the world, and so forth. We have one million not-for-profit corporations in this country, dedicated to all kinds of good work. For example, the best shows on television for children are produced by not-for-profit corporations.

Fourthly, we value freedom, liberty, and democracy. Even though these words cannot be defined, we value them. No American is ever going to say he values oppression and tyranny.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident,” says our Declaration of Independence, written in 1776, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” These are ideals, of course, that continue to be violated in reality. Someone once noted, for example, that our Founding Fathers were a “group of slave owners who wanted to be free.”

What a ferment of contradictions. Even though we do not have a pure democracy in the USA, most of us believe that democracy, the principle of one man, one vote, is a better way of running things than the various alternatives. And I still believe that God, Who created us, wants us to be free and happy. I grew up valuing these ideals and they are in my very bones.

Suggested Topics for Discussion:

1. If I say the words “American Dream,” what images and ideas come to your mind?

2. If I say the words “American culture,” what images and ideas come to your mind?

Text and Photographs Copyright © 2008 Barbara A. English. All rights reserved.